Christmases come and Christmases go
And some are more memorable than others
But the one I recall that tops ‘em all
Is the Christmas we fixed my mother.
The weather was warm and the moon was high
The stars were twinkling bright
Family gathered round, merriment did abound
On that beautiful Christmas Eve night.
So we hitched up the team and we all climbed on
For a sleigh ride in the snow
As we pulled away Ma was heard to say
“Wait for me, I wanna go!”
The younguns thought Grandma was too old to go
With her back in such a state
But Ma climbed on and hollered “drive on!”
Claimed she was leavin’ her health up to fate.
So off we went and all was well
Soon the lights of home were drawing near
Sleigh bells were ringin’, the kids were singin’
“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”
No sooner had the words come out of their mouths
When the sleigh hit a steep incline
We was grabbin’ for air on a wing and a prayer
’Cause the whole thing was startin’ to slide.
What happened next was a sight to behold
The likes of which I’d never seen
A tangle of bales, legs and arms flailed
In slow-mo, like a bad dream.
I watched as Ma flew up and then back
Did a somersault in the air
With the greatest of ease like a flying trapeze
I admit she did it with flair.
She came to rest bottom down, boots up
On the crest of the new-fallen snow
Her eyes were wide as we rushed to her side
But her state we just didn’t know.
Ma got to her feet and shook herself off
And then she slowly started to smile
Then she laughed and she giggled and started to wiggle
She hadn’t moved like that in a while.
She jumped on the sleigh and shouted to all
“It’s the best Christmas present I ever got!”
With her health restored she needed doctors no more,
She just needed to get upsot!