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The Christmas fix

Christmases come and Christmases go

And some are more memorable than others

But the one I recall that tops ‘em all

Is the Christmas we fixed my mother.

The weather was warm and the moon was high

The stars were twinkling bright

Family gathered round, merriment did abound

On that beautiful Christmas Eve night.

So we hitched up the team and we all climbed on

For a sleigh ride in the snow

As we pulled away Ma was heard to say

“Wait for me, I wanna go!”

The younguns thought Grandma was too old to go

With her back in such a state

But Ma climbed on and hollered “drive on!”

Claimed she was leavin’ her health up to fate.

So off we went and all was well

Soon the lights of home were drawing near

Sleigh bells were ringin’, the kids were singin’

“Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer.”

No sooner had the words come out of their mouths

When the sleigh hit a steep incline

We was grabbin’ for air on a wing and a prayer

’Cause the whole thing was startin’ to slide.

What happened next was a sight to behold

The likes of which I’d never seen

A tangle of bales, legs and arms flailed

In slow-mo, like a bad dream.

I watched as Ma flew up and then back

Did a somersault in the air

With the greatest of ease like a flying trapeze

I admit she did it with flair.

She came to rest bottom down, boots up

On the crest of the new-fallen snow

Her eyes were wide as we rushed to her side

But her state we just didn’t know.

Ma got to her feet and shook herself off

And then she slowly started to smile

Then she laughed and she giggled and started to wiggle

She hadn’t moved like that in a while.

She jumped on the sleigh and shouted to all

“It’s the best Christmas present I ever got!”

With her health restored she needed doctors no more,

She just needed to get upsot!

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