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Doggerel 2016

The tree is took down, there’s no more left of the turkey

It’s a new year in farming, and for many, the future’s quite murky

But not for our readers, who know that from time immemorial

That we clearly predict the future in the new year’s editorial

But first we look back at the past year, and do a review

And as a bonus to readers, we do it in rhyme too

Some will be sad that he’s gone, but others will be merry

After 12 years of being put on the Ritz, we no longer have Gerry

Any news of parting gifts he received, I didn’t quite catch it

But I think a good one would have been an ax or a hatchet

I don’t know if he gave it some thought, or just a glance cursory

But he chopped all the trees from the Indian Head nursery

“Shelterbelts are just at relic of the ’30s,” said Gerry, “And by the way,

“The same goes for community pastures run by the PFRA”

If you want CWRS for bread, or durum for pasta you’re cookin’

Ritz dumped KVD, so which is which now, you can’t tell by lookin’

You could see a grain commission employee and ask for their view

But Gerry got rid of a whole bunch of them too

Those weren’t the only ones that he didn’t think we’d be needing

He chopped a whole pile of the staff for plant breeding

To get rid of the wheat board Ritz was particularly hungry

What’s left of it is now owned by Saudi sheiks and by Bunge

Just before leaving, Ritz and colleagues said it was terrific

That they’d signed TPP — a trade deal Trans-Pacific

That could be the case, and maybe I’ll soon find that it’s true

But it’s 6,000 pages, and so far I’ve just made it to page 3,022

Farm organization leaders must read more quickly, I find

Most issued glowing releases in favour the day TPP was signed

Except supply-management leaders in dairy and chicken

They said that under TPP they’re going to take quite a lickin’

It seems that if it’s into the TPP that Canada wants in

We’ll have to buy all our milk from New Zealand or Wisconsin

Now call it an error in judgment, or a slight mental hiccup

But I thought an El Nino was a Chevy, with a back like a pickup

But after hearing so much talk of it lately, it finely came through

That it’s actually a big slug of warm water off the coast of Peru

That’s a long way away, but apparently the effect of it carries

To weather everywhere else, including here on the Prairies

Now I find that a stretch, but I suppose that as most farmers do

I’ll accept that what the scientists say on El Nino is true

But on climate change it seems some farmers are sure

That those same scientists are spouting a bunch of manure

That’s a contradiction on which the scientists can catch you on

Especially if you’re a farmer seeding soybeans in Saskatchewan

It was just a couple of years ago now, I seem to recall

That the world was going to run out of food, and the sky soon to fall

Everyone told all the farmers that it was definitely proven

That the world needed more grain, and they’d better get movin’

So they did, but once again, there was something to foil it

When farmers grow more, the price always goes into the toilet

As cattle producers will now very well understand

You’re better off to have supply slightly less than demand

Farmers are used to markets being a little bit manic

But just one slow year seems to make chemical companies panic

I guess it’s because of their shareholders’ urging

But all of those big chem firms, they just keep on merging

We’ve now got DowPont, and I hear what’s next on the agenda

Is Synganto, or maybe they’ll call it Mongenta

But enough of the last year, enough of past history

You want to know of the future, for it to be less of a mystery

You’ll be pleased to know that this year my advice is even wiser

I took an Internet course on how to be an ag market adviser

The outlook for wheat prices, could we see them recover?

Definitely, depending on weather, and U.S. winter snow cover

How about feed grain prices, do I see them surging?

Maybe, if there’s problem with winter wheat emerging

Prices for canola and oilseeds, do I see some gains?

Absolutely, depending on what happens to wheat and feed grains

Cattle prices, can we expect them to stay quite so hot?

I can say with some certainty that probably not

Come late February or March, I’m sure you’ll be having

Some warm gentle breezes just in time for spring calving

For April and May, I’m pretty certain what I sees is

Enough moisture for growing, but not too much for diseases

Then inch a week after that is pretty much what I’ve seen

Until it stops when you pull out the swather around August 15

Or at least that’s what I hope for all of our readers

Good luck with your calves, and good luck with your seeders

That’s our best wishes to you from all of us here

For good crops and good prices, and Happy New Year!

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