Did you realize those veggies you plant are a scary lot? Don’t mess with those bad-tempered radishes, for instance. They can get pretty hot.

The cabbage heads are so dense there’s no way you can smarten them up. Nor can you subdue those egotistical muscle men of the garden, the onions — they are that strong. The cucumbers, on the other hand, are an unkempt bunch, seedy as they are.

About the only vegetables you dare trust are the ones in that modest row over there. Whenever you pay attention to them they blush — as red as a beet.

Other than that, you better not gossip in the corn patch with all those ears listening. The potatoes are inclined to eye your every move, while that bunch of celery is very apt to stalk you while you’re not looking.

And when you leave the garden, make sure the gate is closed. The lettuce, you know. It’s inclined to bolt.