Until lately I thought that what AI was for
Was getting more offspring without a bull or a boar
So it took me a while to learn — someone had to explain
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That it’s using a computer to think, instead of your brain
Sounded good to me — I looked forward gladly
To ChatGPT writing this doggerel (verse that rhymes badly)
So I asked “Give me a word that rhymes with Manitoba”
But the best it could do was “Ethnobotoba”
So I gave up; once again, for better or worsen
This annual yearly review is still written by a person
—
The crop year started with quite a few farmers fretting
That things were too dry and the soil needed some wetting
Then the skies decided to open just around seeding
Many got much more rain than they were needing
Most finally got done, but maybe not all the spraying
And the rain turned out helpful for dugouts and haying
But thanks to good weather through most of the fall
Yields and protein turned out to be not bad at all
Despite problems with lodging, in large part owing
To a year when the wind never seemed to stop blowing
—
Whether they come as rain, snow, sleet or whatever form
Farmers have lots of experience in dealing with storms
But last spring many weren’t having much fun
Contending with storms 93 million miles away on the sun
Instead of travelling in straight rows on fields flat or hilly
The GPS was sending seeders in crooked lines willy nilly
—
On an electoral map of the U.S. Midwest, I see a red clump
That suggests that most farmers there voted for Trump
Yet 40 per cent of their corn goes to ethanol for tank filling
But Trump wants it all to come from unlimited oil drilling
And it seems he’s great pals with Elon, who after all
Got rich by selling cars that use no fuel at all
And his pick for health czar is from that family quite wealthy
He says raw milk is good but soy and canola oil are unhealthy
So I’m thinking that after time for reflection
Some farmers might regret their choice in the election
—
Mind you, if the ethanol plants don’t need lots
There’ll be plenty of cheap corn available for feedlots
But that won’t do them much good, I fears
If they don’t have a supply of heifers and steers
It used to be that high prices encouraged heifer retention
To grow the herd bigger was the usual intention
But I hear many are saying “No, this time I’m done
“I’ll just ship ‘em to town, take my buck and I’ll run”
As I look in the future I think I see one day
When beef is just special, for meals served on Sunday
Back in the ’90s in this part of the nation
The big theme for a while was livestock diversification
Emus and ostriches were just a brief harmless bubble
But another critter turned out to be a lot more trouble
Wild boars wouldn’t be a problem, or so we were told
If they got loose they couldn’t handle our winter’s cold
It turns out they sure can, and among their bad habits
Are eating crops, carrying disease and breeding like rabbits
Don’t shoot ‘em, that makes the rest hide more out of sight
Report them instead to the Squeal on Pigs website
—
I think it’s something China is just up-trumping
That’s the claim that our canola we’re dumping
And apparently after deep frying the oil’s life is ending
They’re sending it back used, for biodiesel blending
I hope that when arguing for anti-dump victory
Our negotiators mention China’s being a bit contradictory
—
One aspect of 2024 that wasn’t much to my liking
Was all the times that there was someone out striking
Railways, West Coast workers, and many were cursin’
The pre-Christmas strike by Canada Post persons
If you get any cards, they might not come till later
And worse, you didn’t get your weekly Co-operator
But management had to be tough and workers instructored
That it’s time for Canada Post to be restructured
Many reading this will agree when I say
That city folks shouldn’t expect home delivery each day
—
The forecast? As usual I’ll get the new year off to a start
By examining the Christmas turkey’s gizzard, liver and heart
Since there’s already moisture, I see that they’re saying
That this year rain will hold off till after spraying and haying
What about prices? Well, once again it’s the case
That I’ve a sure-fire prediction, but they won’t give me the space
So for now I’ll sign off with a wish from all of us here
For good crops and good prices and a Happy New Year!
John Morriss is a former editor of the Manitoba Co-operator and former associate publisher and editorial director of Farm Business Communications.
