As you may know, in each year’s first edition
We follow a time-honoured farm writer’s tradition
Of reviewing the past year in doggerel (that’s badly rhymed text)
And giving you fearless predictions on what to expect for the next
Since she’s in charge, I hesitate to criticize Mother Nature’s decisions
But I wish she could be a bit better at mathematical divisions
She got the total rainfall right, but this year I hope she’ll remember
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To allocate more from May to August, instead of mostly September
“Rutting season” usually means when bucks are for females pining
But last fall it was also a description of Prairie farmers combining
Maybe it was a GPS failure, or farmers had their autosteer unhook-ed
But to me some of those ruts looked awfully crooked
Even so, it seemed that almost every ag newspaper edition
Had at least one story on how to farm with precision
It sounds like a good plan so long as all systems are able
To communicate, but so far it’s a bit like the Tower of Babel
Hook two machines up and the first thing you know
Is they stall: the red one says stop and the green one says go
But sooner or later they’ll sort out that factor
So the seeders and sprayers can talk to the tractor
With Big Data and AI (Artificial Intelligence) I bet they’ll be striving
To take over completely and get rid of the guy driving
Soon the only part of farming left for humans to be knowin’
Is how to drive to see the banker in town, and ask for a loan
Though some farmers are thinking things could be more prolific
By going back to mixed farming, but with an approach scientific
They call it “regenerative agriculture” — many, including millennials
Are finding the benefits of livestock, and forage perennials
If you’re looking for your farm’s long-term health to be sustainable
By just rotating canola and wheat that might not be attainable
I really don’t like the new names but I guess we all hafta’
Start calling it USMCA or CUSMA — what used to be NAFTA
Open borders for most things are good, economists have showed
But not everything: such as waterhemp and soybean cyst nematode
They’ve crossed into Manitoba without checking with customs
We now need farmers to co-operate in a major effort to bust ’em
If you spot a waterhemp patch, then you should immediately
Notify the provincial weed specialist, and do it expediently
It can take over your whole field and before that you know it
You won’t be able to spray it with anything, you’ll just have to hoe it
You can’t review the past year without failing to mention
How farmers got caught in the middle of international tension
After Canada arrested an executive from a telecommunications giant
China hinted that “To buy your canola, we might not be compliant”
Which caused much fuss — many press releases were flying
But although a bit less, China actually kept buying
And if you add canola to its purchases of all other crops
On the list of Canada’s grain customers China came out on tops
Maybe you can explain it; I can’t, despite all my trying
The WTO complaint that our best customer’s not buying
So much for last year, it’s time to finish reflection
And look ahead for a glimpse at the new year’s direction
After examining my Christmas turkey’s innards and doing a reading
They said that for sure you’ll have enough moisture for seeding
On the outlook for prices, they said that we’re headed for a correction
But when I asked up or down, they couldn’t give the direction
The new year will be 20-20, but try hard as they might
Like most analysts the innards can only see that way in hindsight
So here’s what I predict that all farmers will be having
Is a few more weeks of winter, but not too cold for calving
Warm, gentle spring winds will start on March 15 precisely
By the middle of April they’ll have dried the soil nicely
Then no rainfall till farmers have finished what they need to be doin’
After that an inch or so weekly (at night only) starting in June
Around mid-August I predict the rain gods will remember
To hold off for a few weeks till the end of September
How accurate am I when I predict much less wetter?
As accurate as anyone else, and it sounds a lot better
So on that note I’ll sign off with best wishes from all of us here
For good crops and good prices, and a Happy New Year!
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